I have really tried to get more into the scriptures more everyday. I hate to say it but actually reading and being in God’s word has always been a struggle for me. I have always really approached it as a last resort. “Okay God you aren’t talking to me through a burning bush… so I guess I’ll go read the Bible or something,” has pretty much always been my thought. This morning in my preparation of scripture memory verses (which I also shamefully admit that I am not disciplined enough to do) I came across the last words of Jesus on the cross from the book of Matthew, “Eloi, Eloi lama sabachthani?” -which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:46 NIV) After reading it I can remember every professor who ever discussed this verse saying that it was a quote from the 22nd Psalm, and in coming across it this morning I realized that I don’t think I had ever read the 22nd Psalm in that context, if ever. So I turned back a couple hundred pages in the Bible and read it.
I was stunned. I have been feeling like God really owes me a break lately. Fund raising is going terribly, I am stuck in my in-laws basement, we can’t get traction financially, and it’s really starting to get to me. But as I read through this psalm I felt comforted. In Jesus quoting this text from the cross, we are often confused about why Jesus was saying that God had abandoned him and how He could even do that because Jesus was in fact God incarnate. Well if we read down to verse 19 “But you, O Lord, be not far off; O my Strength, come quickly to help me.” It all starts to make sense. This is not Jesus whining to Daddy about not helping but instead a proclamation of full reliance on God the Father. Bam, I feel like a whiny red-headed stepchild at the family picnic (an oh so wise idiom picked up from my mother). Maybe this situation is not God just trying to get a rise out of me but rather it is a call back to him. I’m not trying to claim understanding of God’s ways, but this thought is setting my spirit at ease. None of the things that have been bothering me can compare to what the David was writing about or what was clearly experienced by Jesus. I am weak, and I think that’s the lesson to be learned here. I lean on my own understanding and care too much about the things in my life.
Maybe this epiphany will help kick my butt into getting into the Bible more, I think it will.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2022&version=TNIV
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lead not unto your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5
ReplyDeleteI think a LOT of believers struggles with these same things. We hear that God works all things together for our good, we try to believe that He's going to work it all out for us, but we live in this world of instant gratification and self-centeredness. So, if something goes wrong or takes longer than we would like, we wonder if God has abandoned us. We think that if God has promised to take care of us, where is He now? There is a song, I'm sure you've heard it about a zillion times now, but it's "Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson. I've found that this song is encouraging in these situations. He says "life is not a snapshot" and that is so true! We tend to think that one moment is all about us and fortells the entire future, but it's not. It could be about someone else, or it could be happening for a reason we can't understand. God WILL provide for you guys. If it hasn't happened yet, there is a reason! God recently called me to study the story of Joseph in Genesis. He taught me that His promises don't always happen right away. Joseph was promised great sucess through a dream from God, but he first had to be ridiculed by his family, sold into slavery, and put in prison. But he never thought God had abandoned him. He had to be patient and know that God had a plan. Eventually he got what was promised to him, and God used that time to strengthen Joseph's faith and save many more than he would have otherwise. God will do the same for you!:) And about reading the Bible--we all struggle with that from time to time. Scott has especially been struggling with it lately. My best advice is to pray about it, and I bet the Holy Spirit will encourage you to read it more (which may be what just happened for you!). Best of luck!! God bless!